Huzzah For William Windsor's Pee-Pee!


As news breaks of another scrounger due to arrive in England and welch off our system at the expense of hard-working tax-payers (don’t panic Daily Fail readers, we’re not talking about immigrants - just the news that Kate Middleton got knocked up again) we’re rather jealous of Scotland having the potential to boot out the royals.

While the official line is that Elizabeth Windsor will remain Head of State in an independent Scotland, there have been hints of another referendum surrounding Lizzy’s job description if Scotland votes Yes in a few days time. No wonder she’s keeping a close eye on the polls.

Considering her apparent popularity in Scotland, it seems unlikely that she’d be given the sack, but we’re still massively excited that Scottish voters are being given the opportunity to take power away from such a significant member of the global elite. 

Stripping power and privilege from the elite, and bringing control back to the people through devolution, is something we’re (unsurprisingly) very much in favour of and so we’re keeping all our fingers and toes crossed that Scotland will take this empowering step. With any luck, it will be the beginning of a snowball effect and we’ll start to see movements for independent Cornwall, Isle of Wight, London, Hackney…… 

While the media fills your nightmares with ISIL (is that what they’re called now? IS? ISIS? Al Queda? Whoops, no that’s sooooo 2001……), ’severe terror threats’ (whatever the crap that means), and other such meaningless masquerades designed to induce fear and separation, our lives are being controlled by the REAL terrorists: a small, select group of psychopaths dressed up as politicians, heads of state, and heads of corporations, all kissy-kissy and cosying up to each other to make sure they stay powerful and YOU remain powerless and supplicant. 

Take the latest act of mutual bum-licking that’s so extraordinarily blatant and scary it’s almost like a cliché horror movie - Mr Burns’ tribute act Rupert Murdoch calling in comedy human-being-impersonator Nigel Farage for a “good chat”. Heavens-to-cocking-Betsey, the owner of (essentially) ALL the media having a chinwag with the leader of England’s most ridiculously antiquated political party. What do you think they’re talking about? Angelina’s wedding dress?? See what we mean, it’s like Sharknado with far-right extremists. Good thing we've got another royal baby announcement to put our attention on… 

Problem is, UKIP are largely selling themselves on their policy of withdrawing from the EU, which isn’t an entirely ridiculous idea. More and more people are wanting to bring power back to their own communities, so saying goodbye to the EU is somewhat appealing. If only the idea wasn’t being promoted by a man so lacking in personal identity, self-esteem, humanity and compassionate empathy that he actually feels threatened by people speaking a foreign language on a train. 

Anyway, blah blah blah - this corrupt and oppressive regime under which we live is so completely unsustainable that it can’t possibly last forever. It’s already crumbling, as evidenced in the regime leaders' efforts to grip tighter and tighter onto the reigns they know they are about to lose.

Meanwhile, Stephen Hawking just casually pointed out that the Higgs Boson could destroy the Universe at any momentand a climatologist took to Twitter to announce that we’re probably fucked (his words, not ours - awesome), so investing too heavily in petty politics is arguably a futile exercise anyway. 

So what to do? Spread awareness, expose the truth, and fill the world with as much rambunctious joy and unstoppable love as possible. Make a stranger laugh, give your nan a balloon, help a parent with a pushchair, give a sad person a hug, fill every cell of your being and every fibre of your soul with so much love, compassion, mindfulness and harmony that every waking moment of your day drops an A-bomb of AWESOMENESS on the world. If enough people do that, the Bond villains won’t stand a chance. 

Tell us all about your Awesome-Bombs in the comments below, or email [email protected] and help us build an inspiring list to share with our community!

Posted on September 9, 2014 and filed under latest news.